this is totally normal...right?

if you're new here. you might not know. but i live alone.

i conquered some fears.

i still sleep with a knife, baseball bat, taser gun, and rifle next to my bed but i am working on it.

i still check behind the shower curtain when i get in at night.

and i ALWAYS double check the deadbolt.

so you get the picture. i am a scardy cat.


what i was getting at is i like to keep myself company.

while i don't always like company [ie. why i live alone] i like to think i am good company.

i turn on the tv and talk to it. talk to myself. call me crazy. then laugh at myself for talking.

do you do this?

last night was a good night.

i caught up on #loveinthewild and the bachelorette. all whist making MAYONNAISE [barf] and lunch for today.

if you recall. i hate mayo. not sure what it is but i can't look at it. i can't touch it. i can't smell it. i don't want to be in the same room with it. and on some crazy planet yesterday i decided to MAKE IT. wtf.

i think the whole30 is going to my head. and making me cray cray.

so what i am saying is that i had to talk to myself to calm me down.

'no, whitney you got this. you won't barf. this is easy. it is just eggs and oil. that isn't gross. gag. keep going. just keep swimming. just keep swimming. ok. good. i got it'

i didn't try it yet because i am scared as fuck to taste it. but i will gladly add it to my chicken salad and hope for the best.

here's to conquering fears.

i won't check behind the curtain tonight.

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