that time i looked like gwyneth paltrow.

it is not every day that i can say that sentence.

i don't have blonde hair. 

i am not married to a rocker. 

i don't have children with blonde hair.

so in summary: i look NOTHING like her. 

except for this one time... 

remember this picture floating around?

so those marks are from cupping. 

what is cupping you ask??

via wiki:

"Cupping therapy is an ancient form of alternative medicine in which a local suction is created on the skin; practitioners believe this mobilizes blood flow in order to promote healing.[1] Suction is created using heat (fire) or mechanical devices (hand or electrical pumps). It is known in local languages as baguan/baguar, badkesh, banki, bahnkes, bekam, buhang, bentusa, kyukaku, gak hoi, Hijamah, kavaa (ކަވާ), singhi among others."

i had them take this picture for me while i was there. for you guys. [kidding]

anyway. a while back i bought a groupon for acupunture and cupping at this place in CHINATOWN. i was a little skeptical but i wanted to try it. so why not right?

after a 30 minute consultation answering pointless questions about my medical history. a quick examination of my tongue. and nail color check. we got started with the stabbing. the needles were actually thicker than i thought. i thought it would just feel like a little pin prick. but in my [humble] opinion, it felt like a needle jamming into my skin. then this weird burning/tingling sensation happened. 

she put 12, TWELVE, TWELVE needles in my body. including 2 in my ear. and 2 on the top of my head in my scalp. she was going for relieving my stress. [good luck with that.]

then told me to relax. 

two MAIN reasons i couldn't relax:
1. she had that shitty crinkle paper on the bed that doctor's offices use so they don't have to clean shit. you know how loud that is just when you breathe. so no, i can't fall asleep with needles stuck in me for fear i might turn over and pierce myself. and the paper is far too loud to even get there.
2. the FUCKING clock on the wall was SO loud. there was no calming music to mask the ticking. nothing. just the ticking of time not quickly passing. it was like when you are lying in bed trying to fall asleep and all you can do is stare at the ceiling and get infuriated. yeah that was where i was. 

so i thought. this isn't for me.

next the cupping. this i read about the marks. what i guess i didn't read was that they last for 7 days. good thing it isn't bsuit season. 

girl look at that booty. [looks funny]

also what she didn't tell me was that the joke was on me. 

when she put the jars in a smiley face pattern. and i wouldn't notice until i got home and saw the marks really coming to light. 

fuck her. that is just rude. but hilarious at the same time. i would do the same thing. 

[it actually looks worse now. they get more bruise like with time.]

also BIG BIG BIG thanks for all my blogger friends for posting for me this week. i am happy to report that we passed all of our inspections to date and we are waiting for a couple last ones to sign off the building. but my hair is falling out because of my hard hat and my feet are tired from my boots.

if you missed my spring break series go here.

jenna | megan | erica | megan | meagan

[holy shit...THREE me(a)gans????] i am recruiting new friends. send applications via twitter with your best joke.

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